[Intro]
E E7 Asus2 B7sus4 B7
[Verse]
E E7
Sid Vicious played a four-string Fender bass guitar and couldn't sing
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
And everybody hated him except the ones who loved him
E E7
A ukulele has four strings, but Sid did not play ukulele
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
He did smack and probably killed his girlfriend Nancy Spungen
[Verse]
E E7
If only Sid had had a ukulele, maybe he could have been happy
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Maybe he would not have suffered such a sad end
E E7
He maybe would have not done all that heroin instead
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
He maybe would've sat around just singing nice songs to his girlfriend
[Chorus]
E E7
So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
E E7
Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
And bring your etch-a-sketch to work and play your ukulele
[Bridge]
Asus2 B7
Ukulele small and forceful, ukulele, brave and peaceful
E Asus2
You can play the ukulele too it is painfully simple
Asus2 B7
Play your ukulele badly, play your ukulele loudly
D6
Ukulele banish evil, ukulele save the people,
Ukulele gleaming golden on the top of every steeple
[Verse]
E E7
Lizzie Borden took an axe, and gave her mother forty whacks
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Then gave her father forty-one, and left a tragic puzzle
E E7
If only they had given her an instrument, those puritans
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Had lost the plot completely, see what happens when you muzzle
[Verse]
E E7
A person's creativity and do not let them sing and scream
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
And nowadays it's worse 'cause kids have automatic handguns
E E7
It takes about an hour to teach someone to play the ukulele
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
About same to teach someone to build a standard pipe bomb you do the math-s-
[Chorus]
E E7
So play your favorite cover song, especially if the words are wrong
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Cos even if your grades are bad, it doesn't mean you're failing
E E7
Do your homework with a fork and eat your fruit loops in the dark
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
And bring your flask of Jack to work and play your ukulele
[Bridge]
Asus2 B7
Ukulele, thing of wonder, ukulele, wand of thunder
E Asus2
You can play the ukulele too in London and Down Under
Asus2 B7
Play Joan Jett, and play Jacques Brel and Eminem and Neutral Milk
D6
Tell the children crush the hatred, play your ukulele naked
If anybody tries to steal your ukulele, let them take it
[Verse]
E E7
Imagine there's no music, imagine there are no songs
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Imagine that John Lennon wasn't shot in front of his apartment
E E7 Asus2
Now imagine if John Lennon had composed "Imagine" for the ukulele
B7sus4 B7
Maybe people would have truly got the message
[Verse]
E E7
You may think my approach is simple-minded and naive
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Like if you want to change the world then why not quit and feed the hungry
E E7
But people for millennia have needed music to survive
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
And that's why I've promised John that I will not feel guilty
[Verse]
E E7
So play your favorite Beatles song and make the subway fall in love
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
They're only $19.95, that isn't lots of money
E E7
Play until the sun comes up and play until your fingers suffer
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Play LCD Soundsystem songs on your ukulele
[Verse]
E E7
Quit the bitching on your blog and stop pretending art is hard
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Just limit yourself to three chords and do not practice daily
E E7
You'll minimize some stranger's sadness with a piece of wood and plastic
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Holy fuck it's so fantastic, playing ukulele
[Verse]
E E7
Eat your homework with a fork and do your fruit loops in the dark
Asus2
And bring your flask of Jack to work, your etch-a-sketch, your vibrator
your fear of heights, your Nikon lens
[Verse]
E E7
Your mom and dad, your disco stick, your soundtrack from "Karate Kid"
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Your Ginsu knives, your rosary, your new Rebecca Black CD
E E7
Your favorite room, your bowie knife, your stuffed giraffe, your new glass eye
Asus2 B7sus4 B7
Your sousaphone, your breakfast tea, your Nick Drake tapes, your giving tree
E E7
Your ice cream truck, your missing wife, your will to live, your urge to cry
Asus2
Remember we're all going to die
E E
so play your ukulele